Friends with benefits

(If you've seen the movie, Friends with Benefits, or are a human being over the age of 18, you already know how the story ends. . .womp womp)

I met up with some girlfriends recently and got to thinking about the concept of friends with benefits. I personally think that this concept is complete and utter foolishness, and I'll tell you why. Women were not created to engage in the act of providing benefits to men who are just friends. I could get into the biblical significance of marriage being created for a husband and wife, but I'm not going to get that deep this post. Women are emotional creatures, and as hard as we try, emotions trump logic every single time. Let's just keep it real, at some point, along the journey of panties hitting the floor, condoms being unwrapped, and dirty words being yelled out she has caught feelings. Although she might profess that she's "different" and that she can "have sex like a man" all this mumbo jumbo is senseless lies she tells a man in hopes that he will think that she's "down" and a "cool girl". My response to this foolishness is girl stop. Like really, stop and be real with yourself for a minute. You don't want to just have sex with him. You don't want him to get up after he's finished his business, head to the bathroom, and then head straight through your front door. No. You want him to cuddle with you, rub your back, tell you how amazing you are/were. .. that you're the best he's ever had (yes, que the Drake music).

I can admit that I've never been the type of woman who has been interested in merely having a male friend that I engaged in sexual intercourse with. Now, women might say they're OK with it, but ultimately end up having to pick their heart and pride up after the benefits portion of the friendship starts to feel more like a pathetic attempt at trying entirely too hard to get your "friend" to see you as more than just a bed buddy.There were times in my early twenties where I really envied my girlfriends who claimed they had friends with benefits, that is until I'd get the phone call about how mad she was that he "wasn't answering her calls" or that "he actually went on a date with that girl". Um, didn't you say y'all was friends? Why are you so concerned with what he does on a daily basis or who he's doing it with for that matter?

I'll be happy once women start to realize how precious their goodies are. How their goodies will make players turn in their player cards. Once we start valuing ourselves and loving ourselves, this whole notion of "friends with benefits" will cease. The closer I get to 30 the more I wish I had someone schooling me about how important it is to save yourself for someone who is going to appreciate and value not only your body, but your mind. Trust me, it takes time, and I recognize that we all have "needs" as my girlfriends so eloquently preach to me. . .but girlfriend, I need you to value your heart and your mind more than your vagina and her needs. Tell her to be easy and that she'll get that good good just as soon as the right man comes along and puts a ring on it. I'm not hear to preach to anyone, because we're all at different places in our lives and on our walks with Jesus. Ultimately, if you really want to have a friend with excellent benefits, it should be your husband.

"Or do you not know that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit who is in you, whom you have from God, and you are not your own? For you were bought at a price; therefore glorify God in your body and in your spirit, which are God’s." (1 Corinthians 6:19-20)

Peace + Blessings